Tag Archives: life

Cancer, Life, Stuff, Perspective

The last month has been very trying.  My mother-in-law has been in the MICU, and a week ago we didn’t think she would make it.  We were called in to have “the talk” with the doctors.  It sucked bad.  I love mymother-in-law so much.  She’s like a second mom to me.  Thanks to God we have been seeing her make small improvements.  Not really in a celebration mood yet, but we are being cautious.  We hope and pray that she keeps getting better and is then able to go to rehab and come home.  She has/had (not sure yet) Multiple Myeloma.

I’m so tired of cancer.  I truly hope that the entire cancer support system is not a racket….but a lot of me thinks that it is.  I feel like if we had a cure for cancer thousands and thousands of people would be out of a job and many drug companies and hospitals would go out of business and for that reason a cure is being suppressed.  That would piss me off huge considering how many people die of cancer trying to “fix” it with chemo and radiation treatment.  All I can hope is that God gives my mother-in-law some more life to live and it’s a happy life up to the end.

After seeing what she has gone through, I hope that when it’s my time to go, I go quickly.  I would prefer to die in a car accident or from a heart attack or die in my sleep. I don’t want to be in a bed in an ICU for weeks and weeks.

Death comes and goes every day.  We don’t think about it until it walks close to us or someone we love.  It’s a big deal.  It just makes you realize that most days what you are “concerned” about or “need” to get done, is probably no big deal.  We need to slow down and spend time with our family and friends; people we love.  The other shit can wait.  Be happy with what you have.  Most of us have enough stuff….and should probably share with folks who don’t.

Edit:A month after I typed the post above my mother-in-law died.  So damn sad.  I miss her greatly.


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Filed under anxiety, Daily Grind, family, Jesus

Things that make you warm and comfy

As I sit in my very comfortable and cozy home I realize how blessed I am. I am very thankful to God for all that He has provided me.

I started to think about different things that just take me back to my childhood or things that make you just feel ‘at home’ or ‘comfy’.

First off, all these memories or ‘things’ will come from a time where cell phones never existed. To me you cannot be comfy in a house where a cell phone is ringing. This probably stems from me having to be on-call where I work.

I think of how nice it is to be home on a chilly afternoon, sitting on the couch or chair, with my feet upon the ottoman (I call it a hassock but most people are like “WTF?”) watching a baseball game on TV and eating some peanuts. I think of being at my grandparents house and reading a book on the living room floor while my grandmother would be quilting or knitting. My grandfather would be reading the news paper with a toothpick in his mouth.

Today I sit here on the ‘love seat’ in the living room with my laptop typing this. My wife is at the store picking up some groceries and my daughter is sitting in the chair across from me coloring and watching ‘The Flintstones’ off and on. I’m sipping on a cup of Chock full o’Nuts coffee. It’s 2:30pm but it is about 43 degrees outside and very windy, so it’s nice to be inside and cozy.

I like sitting here in the living room during the fall and winter with a sweater on, a pair of jeans, and the fireplace roaring. We have a large wood burning fireplace that is right in the living room. Our cats love lying in front of the fireplace and warming their bodies while the fire is burning. Fire is amazing and there is nothing in the world like a good fire (outside or inside) to make you warm and cozy.

It is also very nice to lie across the bed with some peace and quiet and read a book or page through a magazine. For me, Popular Mechanics or Consumer Reports are a good start.

Add a slice of apple pie or pecan pie and we’re all set. 😉


Filed under Books, Daily Grind, family, House Stuff, random, Television, weather

Bored with knives

Well, I have finally become bored with knives.  I wasn’t at all sure my attention span would last the 3 and ½ years that it did when I first began this journey.  I have bought and sold a lot of knives, and even traded many.

I’m bored with everything to do about knives really.  I will still carry one every day, but it will most likely be a smaller model that will do just fine in getting the job done.
It was a neat hobby (if you can call it that) while it lasted.  It seemed more to me like an addiction than anything. Don’t get me wrong, I think knives are useful tools, but to the extent I was into them I think it was a bit extreme.  I will always appreciate the fine craftsmanship in what it takes to create and put together a good knife.

It took me a while, but I finally realized that there is no “One” knife for you.  There is not “The knife”.  It is simply and endless search for something better which will never exist.  Once I realized this I decided to stop with the knife thing.

I have sold off some of my knives and traded others.  I will keep about 12 knives total.  Even that’s a lot of knives to have in my opinion.  I will eventually give some away to friends and family and probably keep just a few.

I will end up picking up something else to do and using my time differently from here on out.

I wish you all who may read this, and are into knives, a great journey.  I hope you find “The knife”.  I know you will not, because it doesn’t exist.  You simply have to grab a knife, put it in your pocket and use it….and keep using it.  Enjoy the knife, enjoy using the knife, and do other things while carrying a knife.  Don’t make the journey “trying to find the ultimate knife”.  Instead make the journey, the knife you have in your pocket and all the times you use it.

Life is the journey.  We all seem to want to hurry to get to a destination of some sort.  Enjoy the journey, because when it’s over, you will wish you had treated your journey as your life.  Hurrying towards a destination ruins everything in between.

Keep your chin up.  Let God guide you, and love with all of your heart.


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Filed under family, Jesus, Knife stuff, Links

Everyday above ground is a good day

We, as Americans need to quit being such fucking whiners.  I just realized over this weekend that we (or at least I) need to get back to basics.  Quit wanting every fucking thing that you don’t have.  Quit bitching and moaning about stupid shit.  Quit getting carried away and all mad when people in traffic don’t drive as fast as  you want them to or don’t drive as well as you want them to.  Stop for a second and think about a few things.  Are you healthy?  Is your family OK?  Have you spoken to God recently?  Have you read the Bible?  Do you own a Bible (if you don’t contact me and I’ll send you one)?  If you have children, are they healthy and happy?  Are you happy with what you have?  You should be.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t strive to be better but holy shit do we as a society need to quit bitching about shit.  I fall into the same thing every now and then.  I want a better car or I want a bigger house or I want more knives, or more money or……whatever.  It’s useless.  We need to be happy with what we have at a given time.  Life is not a destination, it’s a journey.  We cannot keep saying “when I get (insert item here) I’ll be happy”.  That’s bullshit.  Everyone is trying to get to a destination so damn fast than nobody seems to stop and look at what’s around them or get to know people.  What happened to going for a hike in the woods and showing your kids about little animals or bugs?  Forget all this Playstation, XBOX, video game, texting crap.  Teach your kids useful stuff.  Heck turn off the TV for a week and read something or go outside.  Hike in the woods or at a local metro-park.

Did you wake up alive today?  Good, now go do something and quit bitching and complaining.  Fucking “Man up” and get shit done.  Stop procrastinating and “Just do it” (Thanks Nike).  Quit being so pissed off at other people for stuff.  Don’t worry about things you can’t change. Don’t even worry about stuff you can change.   Just change it.

90% of life is how you approach it and how you respond to things that happen to you.  The other 10% isn’t worth fretting over.

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Filed under family, Links, Outdoors

Rain, Tornados, Life, Knives, and other stuff…

Well it’s been raining for a few days pretty hard.  We’ve had thunderstorms both yesterday and today.  I like them, but it sorta makes it so I cannot mow the lawn. 🙂 I guess that’s ok some weekends.  I’m just thankful that we don’t get flooding here since I live in the highest point in Ohio (Summit County).

I’ve been away from my blog for a while and need to get back into the swing of things and start posting regularly again.

I always seem to worry about my daughter getting sick or throwing up and stuff.  Especially since it’s been a while since she’s been sick.  I always think “Oh boy, she’s probably due to get sick soon”.  I hate that I think like that and I need/want to stop it.

Friday I got to go to a Microsoft Project 2003 class that was paid for by my employer and since I’m salary I also get paid for attending the class. 🙂 It was a pretty good class.  I didn’t think it would be but I actually learned a lot and I need it for work because we have to start doing all our project plans for network and server stuff in Project 2003 and/or Project 2007.

Right now we have a Tornado Warning going on and there is a huge rotating air horn on top of about a 75 foot pole and it’s right across the street from my house.  You can hear the thing about 20 -30 blocks from here.  It’s insane loud, but I’m glad we have those kinds of warning systems in place.  So we have this tornado warning for about another 30 minutes and then we’re all set.

I’ve been finally putting quite a few knife reviews up on YouTube.  I am just using my Nikon Coolpix 4100 to take the movies and they are kinda grainy so I would like to get a web cam for my computer to do the reviews with.  I’m not sure what to get yet but I’m just glad to be putting some reviews and stuff up on “The Tube”.

I’m just sitting here in a nice quiet house with our cute cats and relaxing.  I’m thankful to God that it’s been such a good weekend.  He has really taken care of us for a long long time and I do appreciate it greatly.  I cannot thank Him enough.

Thinking of getting a Spyderco Dragonfly in White FRN since it’s a Sprint Run and has a VG-10 blade and there will only be 1200 white ones made.  I think that even though white seems like it’s not a good choice for a knife handle that it’s very cool.  I think most people (myself included) think that white would get dirty so easily and be hard to clean.  I have read however that it’s not hard to clean and just like the yellow and orange FRN Spyderco knives that they don’t get dirty like you think they would.  FRN is just amazing stuff.

I’m 5000 (for those of you that know what this means….props to you). 🙂

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Filed under family, Knife stuff, Links, Outdoors, Work Related