The last month has been very trying. My mother-in-law has been in the MICU, and a week ago we didn’t think she would make it. We were called in to have “the talk” with the doctors. It sucked bad. I love mymother-in-law so much. She’s like a second mom to me. Thanks to God we have been seeing her make small improvements. Not really in a celebration mood yet, but we are being cautious. We hope and pray that she keeps getting better and is then able to go to rehab and come home. She has/had (not sure yet) Multiple Myeloma.
I’m so tired of cancer. I truly hope that the entire cancer support system is not a racket….but a lot of me thinks that it is. I feel like if we had a cure for cancer thousands and thousands of people would be out of a job and many drug companies and hospitals would go out of business and for that reason a cure is being suppressed. That would piss me off huge considering how many people die of cancer trying to “fix” it with chemo and radiation treatment. All I can hope is that God gives my mother-in-law some more life to live and it’s a happy life up to the end.
After seeing what she has gone through, I hope that when it’s my time to go, I go quickly. I would prefer to die in a car accident or from a heart attack or die in my sleep. I don’t want to be in a bed in an ICU for weeks and weeks.
Death comes and goes every day. We don’t think about it until it walks close to us or someone we love. It’s a big deal. It just makes you realize that most days what you are “concerned” about or “need” to get done, is probably no big deal. We need to slow down and spend time with our family and friends; people we love. The other shit can wait. Be happy with what you have. Most of us have enough stuff….and should probably share with folks who don’t.
Edit: – A month after I typed the post above my mother-in-law died. So damn sad. I miss her greatly.
As I sit in my very comfortable and cozy home I realize how blessed I am. I am very thankful to God for all that He has provided me.
I started to think about different things that just take me back to my childhood or things that make you just feel ‘at home’ or ‘comfy’.
First off, all these memories or ‘things’ will come from a time where cell phones never existed. To me you cannot be comfy in a house where a cell phone is ringing. This probably stems from me having to be on-call where I work.
I think of how nice it is to be home on a chilly afternoon, sitting on the couch or chair, with my feet upon the ottoman (I call it a hassock but most people are like “WTF?”) watching a baseball game on TV and eating some peanuts. I think of being at my grandparents house and reading a book on the living room floor while my grandmother would be quilting or knitting. My grandfather would be reading the news paper with a toothpick in his mouth.
Today I sit here on the ‘love seat’ in the living room with my laptop typing this. My wife is at the store picking up some groceries and my daughter is sitting in the chair across from me coloring and watching ‘The Flintstones’ off and on. I’m sipping on a cup of Chock full o’Nuts coffee. It’s 2:30pm but it is about 43 degrees outside and very windy, so it’s nice to be inside and cozy.
I like sitting here in the living room during the fall and winter with a sweater on, a pair of jeans, and the fireplace roaring. We have a large wood burning fireplace that is right in the living room. Our cats love lying in front of the fireplace and warming their bodies while the fire is burning. Fire is amazing and there is nothing in the world like a good fire (outside or inside) to make you warm and cozy.
It is also very nice to lie across the bed with some peace and quiet and read a book or page through a magazine. For me, Popular Mechanics or Consumer Reports are a good start.
Add a slice of apple pie or pecan pie and we’re all set. 😉
Well, I have finally become bored with knives. I wasn’t at all sure my attention span would last the 3 and ½ years that it did when I first began this journey. I have bought and sold a lot of knives, and even traded many.
I’m bored with everything to do about knives really. I will still carry one every day, but it will most likely be a smaller model that will do just fine in getting the job done.
It was a neat hobby (if you can call it that) while it lasted. It seemed more to me like an addiction than anything. Don’t get me wrong, I think knives are useful tools, but to the extent I was into them I think it was a bit extreme. I will always appreciate the fine craftsmanship in what it takes to create and put together a good knife.
It took me a while, but I finally realized that there is no “One” knife for you. There is not “The knife”. It is simply and endless search for something better which will never exist. Once I realized this I decided to stop with the knife thing.
I have sold off some of my knives and traded others. I will keep about 12 knives total. Even that’s a lot of knives to have in my opinion. I will eventually give some away to friends and family and probably keep just a few.
I will end up picking up something else to do and using my time differently from here on out.
I wish you all who may read this, and are into knives, a great journey. I hope you find “The knife”. I know you will not, because it doesn’t exist. You simply have to grab a knife, put it in your pocket and use it….and keep using it. Enjoy the knife, enjoy using the knife, and do other things while carrying a knife. Don’t make the journey “trying to find the ultimate knife”. Instead make the journey, the knife you have in your pocket and all the times you use it.
Life is the journey. We all seem to want to hurry to get to a destination of some sort. Enjoy the journey, because when it’s over, you will wish you had treated your journey as your life. Hurrying towards a destination ruins everything in between.
Keep your chin up. Let God guide you, and love with all of your heart.
We, as Americans need to quit being such fucking whiners. I just realized over this weekend that we (or at least I) need to get back to basics. Quit wanting every fucking thing that you don’t have. Quit bitching and moaning about stupid shit. Quit getting carried away and all mad when people in traffic don’t drive as fast as you want them to or don’t drive as well as you want them to. Stop for a second and think about a few things. Are you healthy? Is your family OK? Have you spoken to God recently? Have you read the Bible? Do you own a Bible (if you don’t contact me and I’ll send you one)? If you have children, are they healthy and happy? Are you happy with what you have? You should be.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t strive to be better but holy shit do we as a society need to quit bitching about shit. I fall into the same thing every now and then. I want a better car or I want a bigger house or I want more knives, or more money or……whatever. It’s useless. We need to be happy with what we have at a given time. Life is not a destination, it’s a journey. We cannot keep saying “when I get (insert item here) I’ll be happy”. That’s bullshit. Everyone is trying to get to a destination so damn fast than nobody seems to stop and look at what’s around them or get to know people. What happened to going for a hike in the woods and showing your kids about little animals or bugs? Forget all this Playstation, XBOX, video game, texting crap. Teach your kids useful stuff. Heck turn off the TV for a week and read something or go outside. Hike in the woods or at a local metro-park.
Did you wake up alive today? Good, now go do something and quit bitching and complaining. Fucking “Man up” and get shit done. Stop procrastinating and “Just do it” (Thanks Nike). Quit being so pissed off at other people for stuff. Don’t worry about things you can’t change. Don’t even worry about stuff you can change. Just change it.
90% of life is how you approach it and how you respond to things that happen to you. The other 10% isn’t worth fretting over.