Tag Archives: jackass

Running (literally) in the office

Just a short post.  Running inside an office building, from office to office or cube to cube, is not needed.  Seriously.  Yeah I know, you think this doesn’t happen.  Whatever.  I thought the same until it happened where I work.  I was sitting at my desk and I hear (and feel) someone run by.  Not like a little jog or fast walk….a full on run.  Really?  What the fuck?  There is no reason, unless you are police, SWAT, or military, to run inside the office.  You look like a complete jackass.  What the fuck are you running for?  Can a call not wait 20 seconds?  What about a conversation?  If you run inside the workplace you are a fucking idiot.  Relax jackass and take a fucking chill pill.  You don’t need to run.  You are NOT that important.

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Filed under Daily Grind, rant, Village Idiots, Work Related

Annoying phrases that suck

I see what you did there —-> No you don’t. You’re just a poop-head.

Wait for it… —-> No you wait for it. I have other shit to do you lame-ass.

It is what it is —-> and what exactly is IT jack-wagon?

Anything with “derp” or “fap” in it —-> Hi, welcome to America. We speak English here.

Just sayin’ —-> what pussies say at the end of something so they don’t get knocked the fuck out.

Peeps —-> are a marshmallow Easter candy.

Epic —-> an old record company. Plus that name is not over-used at all. You fuckmess.

Too cool for school —-> Good, leave then fucker.

When people spell the word “what” like this: “whut”

Using the word “sick” as a synonym for “rad” or “awesome”

FML: —-> Yeah fuck your life. Whatever. You have things just fine, you’re just a spoiled asshole.

Efff: as in “what the efff is that?”. —-> Just use fuck. You’ll sound less like a dick-sandwich.

I know right? —-> Uh yeah, I already know because I just said what you’re agreeing with jackass!

Besties —-> Unless you’re 12, don’t use this word……and also, you suck.

Fanboy —-> accusatory word used by Internet trolls when they get butt-hurt about their favorite brand.

That’s what she said —-> 1987 would like you to stop using that phrase. Not funny after 25 years.

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Filed under Assholes, Computers, Daily Grind, random, rant, Village Idiots

Texting and emailing around people….and other bullshit

Something I’ve been noticing happening lately has been annoying the shit out of me. Texting or emailing when others are in your presence. I don’t mean just when in public, I mean when others are immediately around you and may want to talk to you or may already be talking to you. I have friends that do this. Total bullshit. Sometimes I’m in the middle of saying something to them and they get their phone out and reply to a text or email. What the fuck? I know they are not paying attention to me. Hell, anymore I just stop talking. I either walk away or when they look at me because I stopped talking I say “I’ll wait” in a very sarcastic manner. I am no longer going to deal with this stupid ass behavior. Good grief folks we are grown adults. It is rude and inconsiderate to do this to people. In fact I can’t even believe that people do it and think that it’s OK. What the fuck!!

The same goes for jackasses that are texting while driving. Sometimes they are not driving but they are texting at a traffic light and I have to fucking beep at them to get their ass moving when the light turns green. It’s funny because most of the time when I beep at them they see that they are about 3 cars behind the guy in front of them they fucking punch it and speed off like crazy. Seriously? You’re an idiot! I didn’t beep because I wanted you to begin a race to pass everyone in front of you. Dumbass. It’s like they are trying to save face so they speed up thinking it will make up for their inadequacies. Nope.

Total Assclowns.

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Filed under Assholes, Daily Grind, Moron Drivers, rant, Village Idiots, Work Related

A few pointers for young people these days…

+ For the sake of everything that is good, pull your fucking pants up off your ass. They belong at your waist and not ON your fucking ass.

+ Quit walking with your friends while texting someone else. Are you shitting me? Fuck. If you’re going to walk somewhere with your friends fucking talk to them. Put your fucking phone in your pocket or throw the fucker off a building or something.

+ Look where you are walking jackass. Observe. Pull up your fucking pants, and look forward while you’re walking forward. The next guy that is walking towards me and doesn’t move because he’s looking at his phone texting will get shoulder checked and knocked to the fucking ground. Pay attention!

+ Quit being so vain. Everything is not about you. Think about other people, be kind. Yes, that means being polite and not dicking around with shit while you’re in traffic. Drive. If you need to text or dig in your purse or look up your nose, pull the fuck off the road and handle it.

+ Plan ahead. Don’t be such a fucking dicktard.

+ Don’t continually drive in the left lane of a 3 lane highway completely oblivious to what is going on around you. We know when you are in your car you feel like you’re in your own little world and nobody else can see you but that’s not true. We can see you, and you’re being a dick. Move the fuck over.

+ Open doors for women. Yes they still like this. I don’t care if it’s your first date or if you’ve been married for 20 years. If you don’t do this, you’re a jackass.

+ Don’t swear around other people’s kids. If you must swear around your own kids then I guess I can’t do anything about it. Don’t swear around my kids. Grow the fuck up and learn to swear around other adults if you must but not around kids. Yeah I swear, but not around kids.

+ Do work and do it well. When you are at work, they are paying you to work, not jack-off. Don’t think that the world owes you a living. It doesn’t, and neither do other people. You have to bust your ass to make a living. If you are in the bottom 20% you will soon be unemployed. Don’t be that person. If you dick off at work, don’t wonder why you just got fired.

Have a nice day!

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Filed under Assholes, Daily Grind, Moron Drivers, random, rant, Village Idiots, Work Related

People who drive in the left lane….

People that drive (and stay in) the left lane suck ass.  I drive the turnpike everyday and every now and then I encounter some jackass that will just drive in the left lane of a 3 lane wide highway and drive under the speed limit or just above it.  Sometimes there will not even be anyone in the middle or right lanes.  These people just do not have the common courtesy to move the fuck out of the left lane.  The left lane is for passing.  It is not for chilling out in and driving and talking on your mobile phone.  These people must be in la-la land.  I bet at least 3-4 times a week I run into someone doing this.  Idiots.

I also wonder about the people that come up behind you and then don’t pass you.  I drive the center lane of the turnpike daily and I usually have my cruise control set on 68MPH in a 65MPH zone.  There are many times when there is nobody in the left or right lane and someone flies up on me and just stays there.  If they are in such a fucking hurry, why don’t they go around?  If I move into the right lane they fly by and then go ride the ass of the next car in line.  It’s like they don’t have the brains to go around in the left lane but they will fly on if you move over.  What the fuck are these people on?  I don’t ever ride in the right lane because that is where the big rigs drive 95% of the time.

Oh well, I guess it really doesn’t matter.  I’m just glad I’m not one of these goofs.

Have a day…

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Filed under Car Stuff, Links, Moron Drivers, Village Idiots