Tag Archives: God

Cancer, Life, Stuff, Perspective

The last month has been very trying.  My mother-in-law has been in the MICU, and a week ago we didn’t think she would make it.  We were called in to have “the talk” with the doctors.  It sucked bad.  I love mymother-in-law so much.  She’s like a second mom to me.  Thanks to God we have been seeing her make small improvements.  Not really in a celebration mood yet, but we are being cautious.  We hope and pray that she keeps getting better and is then able to go to rehab and come home.  She has/had (not sure yet) Multiple Myeloma.

I’m so tired of cancer.  I truly hope that the entire cancer support system is not a racket….but a lot of me thinks that it is.  I feel like if we had a cure for cancer thousands and thousands of people would be out of a job and many drug companies and hospitals would go out of business and for that reason a cure is being suppressed.  That would piss me off huge considering how many people die of cancer trying to “fix” it with chemo and radiation treatment.  All I can hope is that God gives my mother-in-law some more life to live and it’s a happy life up to the end.

After seeing what she has gone through, I hope that when it’s my time to go, I go quickly.  I would prefer to die in a car accident or from a heart attack or die in my sleep. I don’t want to be in a bed in an ICU for weeks and weeks.

Death comes and goes every day.  We don’t think about it until it walks close to us or someone we love.  It’s a big deal.  It just makes you realize that most days what you are “concerned” about or “need” to get done, is probably no big deal.  We need to slow down and spend time with our family and friends; people we love.  The other shit can wait.  Be happy with what you have.  Most of us have enough stuff….and should probably share with folks who don’t.

Edit:A month after I typed the post above my mother-in-law died.  So damn sad.  I miss her greatly.


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Filed under anxiety, Daily Grind, family, Jesus

Love my job

I’m thankful to have a job that I love. I seriously am. I don’t take it for granted one day. I work for as an IT guy for an NFL team and it’s the best job I’ve ever had. Some days you work hard but you also get to play hard. It is the first job I’ve ever had that I sometimes don’t want to take a vacation day from because I have that much fun at work. I love what I do. I actually get paid to do my hobby. I’m not usually one to toot my own horn but I’m very good at what I do and I will keep it that way.

Right now I’m sitting at home and thinking that I’m off tomorrow and actually wondering if I should just go in to work instead. I know I sounds crazy but I like my job that much. Not many people can say that.

I’m thankful to God for all that He’s given me.

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Filed under Computers, Daily Grind, Jesus, NFL, random, Work Related

Hospital with kid…

Right now I’m in the hospital with my little girl. Dehydrated and throwing up and has diarrhea. Things like this make you realize how fragile we all are and how thankful that I should be to have such a beautiful family. I’m blessed to have the health-care that I currently do.

I’m thankful to God daily for my family and little girl. Some days I am not thankful enough.

For those of you out there going through a similar situation where you have a sick kid in the hospital hooked up to an IV or something similar, give it to God. Give your worry to Him. He will help you. He has never let me down. I however never question “why me”, because I figure “why not me?” I’m just as available as someone else.

Life is not fair or easy. Do your best.

God Bless. Life’s short.

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Filed under anxiety, Daily Grind, Jesus

Random thoughts – revisited…

+ I absolutely love my life, and my family.

+ Even though some days I seem to think I’m getting the short end of the stick, God shows me otherwise.

+ I spent $34.80 today to refuel my car.

+ I think everyone should own and carry a useful pocket knife.

+ I think I may read ’23 minutes in hell’. Not sure yet.

+ There is a black ‘hair thingy’ on my desk.

+ I need to replace the mouse. The left button is not clicking all the time these days.

+ Some days I wish that the Internet was never invented and we didn’t have cell phones either.

+ I’m a Christian and I get upset when I mess up….especially when I swear.

+ My car has a top speed of 137 MPH, and I have confirmed that.

+ I would like to have more art in my house.

+ I want to learn how to play the piano.

+ I shaved my head today. I do it regularly anyway.

+ It’s now 1:39am EST.

+ Wear your seatbelt!

+ I wonder if anyone ever uses the Scroll Lock key?

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Filed under Daily Grind, family, Jesus, random

Thankful in these tough times.

Yesterday I took a Gallup poll on the phone.  It took about ten minutes.  During the poll I was realizing my answers showed that I am very blessed.  The gentleman on the phone said that I am very lucky and that most people are not that happy in this current economy.

So I just really wanted to express the fact that sometimes you forget how good you have it.  I’m very thankful for all that I have.

If you can afford to help others in need, do it.  If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask.  These are tough times and I am thankful to God that they are not affecting me yet.

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Filed under family, Jesus, Work Related

Bored with knives

Well, I have finally become bored with knives.  I wasn’t at all sure my attention span would last the 3 and ½ years that it did when I first began this journey.  I have bought and sold a lot of knives, and even traded many.

I’m bored with everything to do about knives really.  I will still carry one every day, but it will most likely be a smaller model that will do just fine in getting the job done.
It was a neat hobby (if you can call it that) while it lasted.  It seemed more to me like an addiction than anything. Don’t get me wrong, I think knives are useful tools, but to the extent I was into them I think it was a bit extreme.  I will always appreciate the fine craftsmanship in what it takes to create and put together a good knife.

It took me a while, but I finally realized that there is no “One” knife for you.  There is not “The knife”.  It is simply and endless search for something better which will never exist.  Once I realized this I decided to stop with the knife thing.

I have sold off some of my knives and traded others.  I will keep about 12 knives total.  Even that’s a lot of knives to have in my opinion.  I will eventually give some away to friends and family and probably keep just a few.

I will end up picking up something else to do and using my time differently from here on out.

I wish you all who may read this, and are into knives, a great journey.  I hope you find “The knife”.  I know you will not, because it doesn’t exist.  You simply have to grab a knife, put it in your pocket and use it….and keep using it.  Enjoy the knife, enjoy using the knife, and do other things while carrying a knife.  Don’t make the journey “trying to find the ultimate knife”.  Instead make the journey, the knife you have in your pocket and all the times you use it.

Life is the journey.  We all seem to want to hurry to get to a destination of some sort.  Enjoy the journey, because when it’s over, you will wish you had treated your journey as your life.  Hurrying towards a destination ruins everything in between.

Keep your chin up.  Let God guide you, and love with all of your heart.


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Filed under family, Jesus, Knife stuff, Links

Rethinking things…

Well recently I have had a couple “wake up calls” to my lifestyle.  I find that I have been spending too much time doing “earthly” things and skimping on time with my family and time with Jesus.  I need to change this and I will.

I’ve been swearing too much and lusting after women too much.  That has to stop.  So, from here on out I’m going to try with all my heart to stop swearing and stop looking at women as a sex object.

I was baptized at age 17 on Easter morning.  I gave my life to Jesus Christ on that day.  I however have fallen out of my relationship with Him.  I am now turning my life back around with help from Jesus Christ.  I will get back on track.

I will be spending my time from here on out with God, reading His word, with my family and just being the best Christian man that I can.

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Filed under family, Jesus, Links