Category Archives: family

I love my daughter

I am sitting here in my living room with my daughter while she does homework.  TV is off.  Stereo is on.  What she likes touches me.  She pays attention to the lyrics.  I can tell she has a good soul.  She is so amazing.  I love her more than anything in this entire universe.  She’s so pretty and I love her so much that it hurts sometimes.  I tear up when I think of how wonderful she is.  She’s growing up too fast for me.  I want more time with her.  Time is the one thing we cannot get back.  We need to use it wisely and take care of ourselves so that we can maximize our time with people we love.  <——— This is very important.

I love you so much Elsa.  You are the love of my life sweetheart.  I will always love you, no matter what.  I will not judge you.  I will always forgive you.  I will always help you when you need help.  After my body dies (of natural causes….nothing is planned folks), I will always be with you.  My soul will be by your side always.  Stay Beautiful my love.



Filed under Daily Grind, family

Current events and Ferguson, Missouri

White, black, yellow, tan, and cream colored people have rioted, burned shit, and just straight acted like morons after many things. They have done it after a sports team won or lost. They have done it after trials, in war, and when there is any type opposing tension between two crowds of people. A black man lost his life due to a cop (Ferguson, Missouri). In Akron, OH. white cop lost his life due to a black man. There are many other examples where people shoot other people. It’s not whites against blacks or blacks against whites; it is bad people against good people. I know good and bad folks that are white, black, yellow, tan and cream colored (no, not all different colors on one person jackass).

Violence is never a good answer unless it is the ONLY way to save you or your family. Violence should always be a last resort. I’m sure this seems like “common sense” to most but there are a lot of common folk out there that lack this “sense”.

Cops should try as hard as they can to not use lethal force unless they have to, I know there are some that lack training. I’m sure some cops shouldn’t even be cops but they are. Likewise, when confronted by a cop, the last thing you should do is make any sudden movements or any movement like you are grabbing for something when they tell you to put your hands in the air.

Nobody wins in these current situations folks. Seriously NOBODY. Let’s try to fix this the right way and not with our anger and emotions. I know it’s easier said than done but then again, so are most things.

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Filed under Assholes, Bad Ass Mother Fuckers, Daily Grind, family, Guns

My daughter singing

My daughter seems to hum and sing a lot while in the house.  I could be in the living room with my laptop and she may be in the office drawing.  She hums.  She hums beautiful songs, most of wish she makes up as she goes.  I could listen to this stuff all day.  I love her so much.  Sometimes she sings lyrics too but mostly she hums.

I just find it amazing.  I’m glad she is so musical.  I hope I can listen to this for a long time.  It’s so good.




Filed under Daily Grind, family, random

Cancer, Life, Stuff, Perspective

The last month has been very trying.  My mother-in-law has been in the MICU, and a week ago we didn’t think she would make it.  We were called in to have “the talk” with the doctors.  It sucked bad.  I love mymother-in-law so much.  She’s like a second mom to me.  Thanks to God we have been seeing her make small improvements.  Not really in a celebration mood yet, but we are being cautious.  We hope and pray that she keeps getting better and is then able to go to rehab and come home.  She has/had (not sure yet) Multiple Myeloma.

I’m so tired of cancer.  I truly hope that the entire cancer support system is not a racket….but a lot of me thinks that it is.  I feel like if we had a cure for cancer thousands and thousands of people would be out of a job and many drug companies and hospitals would go out of business and for that reason a cure is being suppressed.  That would piss me off huge considering how many people die of cancer trying to “fix” it with chemo and radiation treatment.  All I can hope is that God gives my mother-in-law some more life to live and it’s a happy life up to the end.

After seeing what she has gone through, I hope that when it’s my time to go, I go quickly.  I would prefer to die in a car accident or from a heart attack or die in my sleep. I don’t want to be in a bed in an ICU for weeks and weeks.

Death comes and goes every day.  We don’t think about it until it walks close to us or someone we love.  It’s a big deal.  It just makes you realize that most days what you are “concerned” about or “need” to get done, is probably no big deal.  We need to slow down and spend time with our family and friends; people we love.  The other shit can wait.  Be happy with what you have.  Most of us have enough stuff….and should probably share with folks who don’t.

Edit:A month after I typed the post above my mother-in-law died.  So damn sad.  I miss her greatly.

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Filed under anxiety, Daily Grind, family, Jesus

Your job is just a means to an end

I’m now 40 years old and I’ve come to the conclusion that your job is just that, your job.  It’s work.  It’s a means to an end.  I used to like what I do but now it has just become the same monotonous bullshit every single day.  Not much changes.  Drive to work, deal with bullshit, drive home.  I’m not even sure that money makes it worth it.   I was never one to want or have “a career” as I think that just glorifies something that is simply a way to stay fed and do other things in life that you want.

I’m finding that the older I get the less I care about my job.  I couldn’t care any less for it, in fact.  I have no interest in doing anything “extra”.  Why?  Because nobody gives a fuck anyway.  It seems that we have lost the kinds of companies that care about their employees.  It’s unfortunate because when that happens the employee no longer gives a fuck  about the company.  Now, instead of going above and beyond, you do the absolute minimum.  Why?  Going above and beyond doesn’t get you anything but a kick in the face anyway so why do it.

My job is a way to keep food on the table and a roof over my head.  It also gives me some extra money do do other things that my family and I want to do.  My employer doesn’t care about me and I no longer care about them.  It was the same way at my last job that I was at for 10 years.

It’s a shame really, because things could be so much better if companies and employees gave each other a little extra.  That’s how it used to be.  Now everyone only cares about money.  Make as much money as possible regardless of who you fuck and who you make angry.  It’s a load of shit really.



Filed under Daily Grind, family, rant, Work Related


It’s almost comical to see how people just seem to want to get more “stuff”.  Everyone seems like they are in the constant pursuit of things.  Worthless things.  Things that they think may give them pleasure, status, mostly a bunch of stuff they don’t need.

It just makes me think of the movie Fight Club where Tyler Durden says these two things:

-“We’re consumers. We are bi-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don’t concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy’s name on my underwear.”-

-“Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need.”-

You can’t really say it much better than that.  We all need to wake up and quit with the bullshit that we just keep doing everyday.  Now I know there are some genuine people out there that don’t have extra to spend on stuff, so I’m not referring to them.  I do find it funny that sometimes I see someone living in a 1950’s home with 1300 square feet and they have a 50″ TV in the living room and a $40,000 vehicle in the drive way.  What the hell?

Hey whatever……I guess.  Rock on with your bad self. [:confused smile:]

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Filed under Daily Grind, family, House Stuff, random, rant, Television, Village Idiots


One week ago today I had to take one of my cats to be put down.  I hated it.  I miss her so much.  I never thought I could love a little furry animal so much.  I mean, my gut still hurts.  I lost a friend; a friend I had for 10 years.  Her name was Lucy.  She was a simple looking grey cat.  I never thought grey would be so beautiful.  She had little polka dots on her belly and her belly was a light grey/white.  You could look into her eyes and see that she was an old soul.  She was wise.  It was like looking into the eyes of a cat and realizing that you were looking at a soul that was two hundred years old.  She never bit any of us.  She was very protective of us, and she was never mean at all.  I learned a lot from Lucy.  She was patient, and all she ever did was love.  She gave so much love that it was infectious.  Everyday I remember something else that she used to do and I miss her more.  It is hard for me and I am almost in tears as I type this.  I love her so much.  I have a wife and a child and I love them both like nothing else on this earth.  With that said, I am still surprised how much I love Lucy and how much I miss her.  We have other cats, they just are not Lucy.  They are wonderful, but none of them is anything like Lucy.  They just don’t have the depth that Lucy did.

Lucy picked us sometime in the summer of 2002.  She kept coming to our back door and we decided after seeing her drinking from a lake and looking hungry that we would give her a home.  She is the best pet and friend that I’ve ever had, not counting my wife or child.  I dearly hope that I get to cross paths with her again in the future.  I hope we meet and can hang out for a long time.  I miss my friend.  I love you Lucy.  I always will.


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Filed under Animals, Daily Grind, family