I am sitting here in my living room with my daughter while she does homework. TV is off. Stereo is on. What she likes touches me. She pays attention to the lyrics. I can tell she has a good soul. She is so amazing. I love her more than anything in this entire universe. She’s so pretty and I love her so much that it hurts sometimes. I tear up when I think of how wonderful she is. She’s growing up too fast for me. I want more time with her. Time is the one thing we cannot get back. We need to use it wisely and take care of ourselves so that we can maximize our time with people we love. <——— This is very important.
I love you so much Elsa. You are the love of my life sweetheart. I will always love you, no matter what. I will not judge you. I will always forgive you. I will always help you when you need help. After my body dies (of natural causes….nothing is planned folks), I will always be with you. My soul will be by your side always. Stay Beautiful my love.
People that interrupt. I swear to God that nobody seems to give a shit anymore if you’re talking. Too much shit going on at the same time and people just can’t stay focused. I feel like everyone has fucking A.D.D. It happens with everybody I work with. I start talking and am in the middle of a sentence or paragraph and someone just butts in and starts talking about something else. Then once people want to hear what I was going to say I tell them “no, I’m not repeating it”. Fuck ’em. Next time don’t interrupt all the damn time. I will usually attempt to say what I was trying to say twice, then that’s it. I will not repeat it again.
White, black, yellow, tan, and cream colored people have rioted, burned shit, and just straight acted like morons after many things. They have done it after a sports team won or lost. They have done it after trials, in war, and when there is any type opposing tension between two crowds of people. A black man lost his life due to a cop (Ferguson, Missouri). In Akron, OH. white cop lost his life due to a black man. There are many other examples where people shoot other people. It’s not whites against blacks or blacks against whites; it is bad people against good people. I know good and bad folks that are white, black, yellow, tan and cream colored (no, not all different colors on one person jackass).
Violence is never a good answer unless it is the ONLY way to save you or your family. Violence should always be a last resort. I’m sure this seems like “common sense” to most but there are a lot of common folk out there that lack this “sense”.
Cops should try as hard as they can to not use lethal force unless they have to, I know there are some that lack training. I’m sure some cops shouldn’t even be cops but they are. Likewise, when confronted by a cop, the last thing you should do is make any sudden movements or any movement like you are grabbing for something when they tell you to put your hands in the air.
Nobody wins in these current situations folks. Seriously NOBODY. Let’s try to fix this the right way and not with our anger and emotions. I know it’s easier said than done but then again, so are most things.
My daughter seems to hum and sing a lot while in the house. I could be in the living room with my laptop and she may be in the office drawing. She hums. She hums beautiful songs, most of wish she makes up as she goes. I could listen to this stuff all day. I love her so much. Sometimes she sings lyrics too but mostly she hums.
I just find it amazing. I’m glad she is so musical. I hope I can listen to this for a long time. It’s so good.
The last month has been very trying. My mother-in-law has been in the MICU, and a week ago we didn’t think she would make it. We were called in to have “the talk” with the doctors. It sucked bad. I love mymother-in-law so much. She’s like a second mom to me. Thanks to God we have been seeing her make small improvements. Not really in a celebration mood yet, but we are being cautious. We hope and pray that she keeps getting better and is then able to go to rehab and come home. She has/had (not sure yet) Multiple Myeloma.
I’m so tired of cancer. I truly hope that the entire cancer support system is not a racket….but a lot of me thinks that it is. I feel like if we had a cure for cancer thousands and thousands of people would be out of a job and many drug companies and hospitals would go out of business and for that reason a cure is being suppressed. That would piss me off huge considering how many people die of cancer trying to “fix” it with chemo and radiation treatment. All I can hope is that God gives my mother-in-law some more life to live and it’s a happy life up to the end.
After seeing what she has gone through, I hope that when it’s my time to go, I go quickly. I would prefer to die in a car accident or from a heart attack or die in my sleep. I don’t want to be in a bed in an ICU for weeks and weeks.
Death comes and goes every day. We don’t think about it until it walks close to us or someone we love. It’s a big deal. It just makes you realize that most days what you are “concerned” about or “need” to get done, is probably no big deal. We need to slow down and spend time with our family and friends; people we love. The other shit can wait. Be happy with what you have. Most of us have enough stuff….and should probably share with folks who don’t.
Edit: – A month after I typed the post above my mother-in-law died. So damn sad. I miss her greatly.